Monkey Butt

I thought I was being original. Having come from a family whose biggest claim to fame is their sense of humor - often warped and sarcastic, always spontaneous and on target - I really thought my comment was quick-witted and one of a kind.

Robin had been sitting in bed with coffee and the morning news. When he finally rose to take a shower, his red backside reminded me of a baboon.

"You have monkey butt," I told him.

We both laughed and the joke has continued. If we sit too long, we get monkey butt. Since I honestly thought this cuteness had originated with me, imagine my surprise when I learned that Monkey Butt had been marketed. I should have known. Sometimes I think of a funny comeback, only to discover it was so simple, so elementary, that it had originated long ago and by many before me. Such is the case with Monkey Butt.

Robin walked in after shopping recently and sat this bottle in front of me. It's Anti-Monkey Butt Powder, complete with a red-bottomed baboon. I was shocked that someone had stolen my phrase. And turned it into a money-maker. I'm always a day late and a dollar short.

Anti-Monkey Butt Powder boasts that it is good for "butt busting" activities like motorcycling, bicycling, truck driving, and all kinds of sports that can leave a damp feeling in the drawers. Just sprinkle a little Anti-Monkey Butt Powder on the affected areas and stay dry and red-free for hours. Why didn't I think of that?