The Joys of Marriage

Sometimes it takes a crisis for it to really hit home that our life partner is important to us. Too often we get in a comfort zone and stop trying to be the person our partner fell in love with. Then something big comes along and we start to ponder what our life would be without that person we married.

Robin and I experienced this four weeks ago when a heart attack woke me from sleep. Neither of us wanted to admit what was happening. It was acid reflux, indigestion, something very annoying but not life-threatening. When I called my doctor to make an appointment and he told me to go to the hospital emergency room instead, reality began sinking in. It was serious.

Robin quickly ushered me to his truck and he backed out of the driveway at lightening speed. I knew the fears going through my own mind, but I wasn't sure what Robin was thinking. I knew he was scared, even though I usually see only the jokester in him, the little boy who wants to have fun, the man who doesn't care for the serious side of life. I know what I'd be thinking if the situation was reversed. Fear would be gripping my heart at the thought of losing my husband, losing another husband, too early in life. Was I driving fast enough? Will we get there in time? Should I have called an ambulance instead?

I'm sure all those questions and concerns were whirling around in his mind as he drove with a purpose, but his words came out in a different way.

"Are you still with me?" he asked.

"I'm here."

"Hang on, Peggy."

"I will."

"We'll be at the hospital soon."

"OK."

"Remember, Peggy, I can't cook."

What? I'm having a heart attack and his biggest fear is that I won't be around to cook his meals? I turned to him and saw both the playfulness and the concern in his eyes. It was his safe way of saying he wanted me around. Unlike me, a woman, who would have cried and told him I couldn't live without him, he said the same thing but in totally different words. I think.

Thankfully, we came through the crisis together and stronger than ever before. Dr. Robin makes sure I rest often. If he sees signs that my heart is fluttering or if I look pale, he turns off my office light and demands that I go to bed for awhile. The guy wants his meals.

In return, I continue to cook for him. He's getting things like turkey bacon now instead of that pig stuff. Who knows, maybe he'll learn to cook.