I Still Scare Grandchildren

I have seen the blank, bewildered look in the face of my grandchildren before. I open the door to greet them and I am met with the look, the one that makes me wonder if I sprouted a third eye or if my face suddenly broke out in unsightly warts. The look suggests that if I reach out to hug them they will run in the opposite direction, screaming at the top of their lungs as if pursued by the Loch Ness monster.

Usually the kids can't wait to get to my house. They know they will have fun with Memaw and Papa while raiding the pantry. They enter the house with wide smiles and eager steps. They freely offer their sweet hugs and appear totally comfortable in my presence. So, you might ask, what produces the awkward look when I answer my door to welcome them into my home?

Memaw without makeup.

I get teased a lot about my makeup. Robin says I won't take out the trash at midnight unless I have makeup on. Chezzy always told me that a herd of elephants would stampede down Main Street before I'd be caught without makeup. Obviously, I make a point to be presentable. But there are times when it's not possible. Like waking up in the throes of a heart attack. For some strange reason, I didn't tell Robin to start the car only after I'd taken the time to apply foundation, thicken the eyelashes and add a touch of blush to my gray cheeks. I even commented to the nurse who was taking me to surgery to have the stents placed in my heart that I'd never gone to surgery without my makeup. That's the truth. I guess I was more worried about my appearance than the condition of my heart.

As far as Jude is concerned, a heart attack means I'll be wearing a nightshirt and no makeup. There's no health risk. It just means he'd rather not see his Memaw at the moment. When Allison took the lovely picture of me in the ER and showed it to Jude, the look appeared before he turned away. He wanted no part of it. He didn't see the oxygen tube in my nose, or the heart monitor recording my activity, or even the hospital bed I was lying in. He only saw Memaw without makeup. When I came home from the hospital I was greeted by Allison and her family and Jude still shyly gazed at me and only accepted my hug reluctantly. Memaw looked scary.

And the following conversation took place today as they left church to come visit with me for awhile.

Jude: "Mama, call Memaw and tell her to put makeup on."

Allison: "Why? Memaw's been sick."

Jude: "Because Memaw is beautiful with makeup on. She looks pretty ugly without it."

Well, Allison didn't call and I got the look from Jude when I opened the door. It's hard to explain the look. I just know that my precious grandson whom I love so much is not real comfortable with me. Allison whispered the conversation they had had in the car and I understood. And later when I pulled out the camera to get pictures of them all dressed up, I declined to get in the picture because I look "ugly".

Jude's eyes grew wide and he looked at his mom and said, "That's the word I used!"

Then he covered his mouth in embarrassment and turned a crimson red.

So, everyone, I have to wear makeup and keep my hair out of a hair clip, all for the sake of my grandchildren. I don't want to be the wicked grandmother who scares away the little ones. I want them to freely come to my home and feel comfortable in my presence. If I didn't know the difference a little face paint made before, I surely do now.

Here are the little darlings in their church finery. They looked so cute. Memaw isn't in the picture for obvious reasons.