Our Story - Part Four

Writing is my therapy. When I'm down I become reflective. Putting my feelings on paper, usually in poem form, is a sweet release for me. My tears are never close to the surface and I hold things inside. Writing seems to open me up. During this time, I compiled them all into notebooks, and gave to family members. I remember a comment my son, Ron, made after receiving his collection of poems.

"Mom, some of these sound like they were written by a manic depressant," he told me.

"I think some of them were," I admitted.

The poems that dealt with grief were shared with Cheryl. I knew she could identify with the feelings recorded there. And it was comforting to know that not only had the writing helped me, the reading of it would help Cheryl.

Give Me Time

Please give me time to mend and heal,
The pain I've known is deep and real.
I know my progress might seem slow,
But it takes time to heal and grow.

My loss has been too great to bear,
I need your patience, love, and care.
I know a smile will soon replace
The frown that's now upon my face.

There's beauty in my falling tears,
They'll make me stronger through the years.
I have to grieve and wonder why,
Please be patient while I cry.

There was a man I cherished so,
It hurts so much to let him go!
A part of me has surely died,
And now is buried by his side.

Give me the time to sort it out,
I struggle still with fear and doubt.
Remember time will soon erase
The pain that's etched upon my face.

I know how anxious you must be
To see me where I used to be.
I also want this hurt to end,
Give me the time it takes to mend.

I know someday I will awake
And eagerly the day I'll take,
But until then, please let me feel
The pain that only time can heal.


I wrote the following poem especially for Cheryl and me. It's a poem of hope, of progress, of fear, and a goal to reach.

On Eagle's Wings

Someday I'll soar on Eagle's wings,
Aiming for a distant cloud.
I'll be strong and self-assured,
Free of my cloying shroud.

I've already begun to practice,
My feet barely leave the ground.
Still I forge ahead in faith,
For I am upward bound!

These present fears and worries
Will be buried in the past.
I'll be filled with hope and courage,
This weakness will not last!

So carefully I spread my wings
And consider that first leap.
The valley below is frightening,
My resolve begins to seep.

My hold on life's been tenuous,
It's a worn and fraying thread.
How I must regain my confidence
If my wings I dare to spread.

Slowly I gather up my wings
And try them on for size.
I fear they're much too heavy
To keep me in the skies.

I discover all that bulky weight
Is loneliness, fear and doubt.
My load will be much lighter
When I throw these burdens out.

Soon my tears will be no more,
I'll be strong instead of weak.
For I will soar on eagle's wings
Up to the highest peak.

Today my step is slow and small,
But oh the confidence it brings.
Look up! For I've decided
I'm about to spread my wings!