Fourteen years ago today, on my mother's birthday, I lost the love of my life. I don't want to think about that day and all the pain involved. Instead, I want to remember the man he was and the difference he made in my life.
I know what it's like to be envied. Any woman who witnessed how Chezzy treated me would comment on how wonderful it must be to have a husband like that. It was incredibly wonderful! I wasn't just loved, I was adored by him. He showed his love in so many different, amazing ways. I'd find little love notes in my office when we worked together. Especially if he went out of town, he knew which files and drawers I would use the most and hid his loving thoughts there. And before going to work, when I was still home raising our children, I'd find notes and gifts all around the house. It was not unusual to find a gift in the clothes hamper, under the kitchen sink, in the pantry, or in a bathroom vanity drawer.
My most memorable birthday with him was when I turned 30. I went to the mailbox that day and there were 30 birthday cards from him, a sweet combination of funny and romantic. I still have those cards and the envelopes that were addressed in many clever, romantic ways. The day could have ended on that note and I would have felt pampered beyond words. But Chezzy had more in store for me. He took me to dinner at Steak & Ale after Donna arrived to get the kids to babysit. Imagine my surprise when I walked into a private dining room at the restaurant and saw all my family, Donna and the kids included, and a group of friends and co-workers. Chezzy bought steak dinners for 40 people to celebrate my birthday. It was a beautiful day that I will never forget.
Even though Chezzy knew how to keep the sparks alive in a marriage, I think I loved him most of all for the way he adopted my kids into his heart. We were a family of five and we all belonged together. So few blended families have that connection and I thank God for giving me a man who could love so deeply. These relationships define him more than anything else. Many years after that awful day on June 4, 1993, I have had customers and vendors alike tell me how much Chezzy talked about his family and loved them. What greater compliment could anyone hear? It showed how much we were on his mind and in his big heart.
I lost my husband just 12 days before our 19th anniversary. Those 19 years weren't long enough. But those 19 years were so full! How blessed, how fortunate, how beautiful to be loved by such a man. His memory will always be alive within me and I look forward to that glorious day when we will meet again on the heavenly shores.
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8 comments:
I have already visited that hospital room several times today in my mind--thank you for reminding us of the wonderful life that came before.
I have been planning on posting on Daddy later...just wanted to give NanNaw her due first.
I love you, Mother!
June is always such a hard month for us. I was going to say something this morning. Fourteen years seems like a long time to most people, yet I guess it will always feel like yesterday to us. I think of Chezzy then of 10-4 and our anniversary. We keep thinking it will get easier, but some days you and I relive moments all over again, and cry just as hard as the first time. Thats alright because we had and have what no one else will ever understand. Thank you God for those happy moments and the sad ones too. I don't want that love in our hearts to ever forget or end.
Love You BB
What a sweet tribute, mom. You were so loved and adored. You don't meet many men like that these days. We have missed him through so many events, from the birth of Camryn to the pending birth of our little Blehm. What a family reunion we will have one day when we get to heaven. Baylee will save an "Angry Eyes" for him.
As much as I long for Chezzy to see these beautiful grandchildren and share this experience with me, we have to realize he would have eaten them all up by now and have them so spoiled we couldn't tolerate them. Oh, but it'd be worth it!
Of course you made me get out the hankies. Wish I could have met this wonderful man and thanked him for taking care of my friend. Ronnie and I will be married 36 years on June 18th and I still say he is my better half.
Remember, Chezzy is gone, but NOT forgotten.
aww Memaw. I was so young but i remember how sweet he was! And for some reason a particular time with him laying on the bed and his leg being hurt.
But this brings me back to our long meaningful conversation on the day we went shoping for my sixteenth birthday. Sitting in the car talking away about your special memories with such a wonderful man.
I love you!
Candy Girl, your grandpa adored you. He was so excited to learn you were on the way! He'd hold you and kiss all over your face and neck. He was truly in love.
Chezzy sounds like such a wonderful and amazing man....I don't think that does him justice. I can't wait to meet him one day. The romantic things he did is so loving. You don't find men like that anymore. The two of you were so lucky to have that kind of love. Just remember you WILL see him again, hopefully sooner than we think.
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