The Perfect Gift?

I don't know when I have received a Christmas gift I have enjoyed more. Robin and I were doing our Christmas shopping when I was sidetracked by a shoe store. Bored by that common problem, he told me he'd meet up with me at Spencer Gifts. I walked in just as the cashier was bagging a gift for me. Knowing that Spencer Gifts can range from vulgar to exotic, I asked him: "Did you buy for the woman you have or the woman you want?". He just smiled.

My curiosity and a touch of disappointment took hold of me Christmas Eve when I found a battery in my stocking. Since I knew he'd bought one present at Spencer Gifts, I could only imagine what the battery was for. I continued opening gifts, then Robin told me to open a fun one. I asked if it was from Spencer and he nodded. I did not expect what was inside. It was a Fart Machine!

Robin loaded the battery and pushed the button on the remote. The funniest sounds issued forth. I rolled on the floor laughing, with tears rolling down my face, as Robin laughed hysterically at my reaction. The proud moment came when I was in complete control of the remote. I pushed and pushed the button, all the while as laughter erupted. What is it about a fart sound that cracks us up? I know I'm not the only one who lacks refinement, for many have laughed at my new toy. It was a hit at other Christmases we've had and I took it to work and had fun with it there.

The best part is the laughter felt so good. I'm one of those who gets so stressed during the Christmas season. I wanted to post a "Bah, Humbug" on my blog but never found the time. I love Christmas but in my quest to shop for everyone and make the occasion perfect I tend to lose some of what the holiday is all about. Not that it has anything to do with my little machine and its funny noises, but it loosened me up and made me laugh. And I've been laughing since! I came home from work today and had my housekeeper laughing as I pushed the button to produce all the varying sounds of a fart.

You may be thinking at this point that Robin doesn't have a romantic bone in his body, something I've thought a time or two myself. But when I could finally lay down the remote and open the last gift, I saw the romantic, loving side of my husband that I adore. He gave me a pink sapphire and diamond ring. I've long yearned for a pink sapphire.

So, amid the gifts he gave me sits a Fart Machine, and my finger is adorned with a beautiful ring. I'd say he bought for the woman he has. Thanks, Babe!